Blank Pieces
by Togane Shiro
Summary: Over the course of Mikleo's long wait, he slowly forgot about Sorey and all their memories together. And by the end of it, the only thing he could recall was his name. ― written for SormikWeek2016, Day 5: Void (Energy, Absence)


_**warning(s): spoilers**_ _for the ending._

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 _ **Blank Pieces**_

 _ **Tales of Zestiria © Bandai Namco**_

 _Written for_ _ **SormikWeek2016, Day 5: Void (Energy, Absence)**_

 _This is a work of fanfiction, simply written for the purpose of enjoyment and entertainment. I gain no financial profit from writing this._

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When Sorey ended Heldalf's life, Mikleo regained his consciousness as he was released from Heldalf.

The first thing he saw was Sorey in front of him, Mikleo was aware Sorey finally settled everything, he had his answer.

Mikleo drew closer to Sorey raised his hand, wanting to pet his head, saying he had done a great job. But, he realised his hand was nowhere to be seen. Then the next second, he realised he's in the form of twinkling blue light at the moment.

Instead, he circled around Sorey, hoping he succeeded in conveying what he wanted.

Sorey's smile was the only thing he needed now. It soothed his heart knowing Sorey was not burdened by his duty as the Shepherd.

He took one final look at Sorey; etching every inch of his features deep in his memory. It would not be soon before he could see him again. It was hard for Mikleo. But he had decided to support Sorey's decision.

Mikleo left. They would be fine.

Because this was not a parting.

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* * *

Rose formed the pact with Lailah. They all supported her as her Prime Lord and Sub Lords. The travel was more or less the same as when Sorey was the Shepherd. They'd explore new lands, cleansing malevolence, sometimes exploring ruins.

But it's still different. Because the one person who'd enjoy the exploration the most wasn't there with them.

The ruins without Sorey simply couldn't be the same.

Every once in a while, Rose would call for a visit at Camlann. And they would all comply.

Each of them was given time to have a chat with Sorey in private.

Rose would take the longest time. Mikleo figured she looked up to him and became the Shepherd partly due to Sorey. The first few times, he noticed her eyes being red and swollen when she finished her talk.

But it got better.

Her eyes now were not red, and the length of time she had was shorter.

She coped up, Mikleo believed.

When it was Mikleo's turn, he never knew wanted to say anything. Because unlike Rose, Mikleo could wait for Sorey's wake to say what he wanted. Seraphim had all the time in the world, so Mikleo would leave everything he wanted to convey later.

He gave a good ten minutes to just sit and stare at the distant light. He took another ten minutes to close his eyes and breathed in the dense mana. Sorey's entire being had emitted such thick energy around the area.

He could feel Sorey's presence with his senses.

It calmed him.

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* * *

After Rose passed, the person who became the current Shepherd was her relative. He paid visit to her grave once. They were all still there, accompanying the Shepherd on his journey.

Ever since then, they stopped visiting Sorey.

No one knew about the whereabouts of Shepherd Sorey. Everyone thought the Shepherd had continued his travel again. Who could have guess he's sleeping with all his senses shut down to purify the land?

After several generations of being the Shepherd's Sub Lord, Mikleo finally paid his visit to Sorey after skipping nearly a century.

He opened the gigantic door, leading to an open space with extraordinary view before him. A huge crater in the middle of the earth, seeping out blue light swaying calmly towards the dark blue sky, twinkling with stars.

He took his steps in silence, yet produced little thump each time his heels hit the surface. At the edge of the cliff, he stopped. He sat down, put his staff beside him, and closed his eyes.

He breathed in the scent of the earth, slowly filling his lungs. He breathed out. The continuous sound of wind blowing accompanied his stay, resembling the sound of constant breath.

He tried to recall every part of Sorey in his memory.

His emerald eyes burning with passion, then with gentleness when he looked at Mikleo. His jaw lines up to his the cuffs of his ears and the insides. Each grin, pout, frown; they came up as vivid images in his head.

He tried to recall that voice breathed out his name, his laughs when they had a tickle fight, his whines in the morning when he begged for another minute to sleep, his screams when they were being chased by Elysian goats.

Mikleo inhaled with choked gasps. He tasted salt on his lips, biting his lips to prevent more noise escaping.

He's alone. Yet he's not alone.

The one person he didn't want most to see him in this state was here. Sorey could hear him, not with his ears, but with his soul. That's what he believed, because that's how they communicated all those times in the past.

In the end, he couldn't hold hack quivering sobs from his lips. He tried to cover his mouth with his hands, but it only got worse.

By the end of the first century of his absence, Mikleo couldn't recall Sorey's voice anymore.

It's just the first century, and Mikleo had already forgotten a part of Sorey. He didn't know how long he would have to wait. He didn't want to forget. Yet time still stole him away bit by bit.

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Mikleo stopped accompanying Shepherds on their journey following that. He bid farewell to Lailah and excused himself. Lailah understood and just asked him to visit time to time. Mikleo agreed on that.

He returned to Elysia to bid his the seraphim that helped in raising him and Sorey farewell either. He planned on travelling to the land on the west; it might take time before he could return to Glenwood.

Sorey's hard work had bore fruit. Malevolence wasn't flowing everywhere like before and humans were starting to be able to see seraphim. There were problems everywhere, since they suddenly could see things they never could. But it settled down quite fast, maybe because people had grown more faith since Sorey's appearance as the Shepherd.

Thanks to that, for seraphim to travel without a vessel weren't dangerous anymore.

He stepped into Sorey's house; no one touched it and left it as it was. It was dusty, and messy. His bookshelves fallen over with books scattered around the floor. He knelt down and picked up the books, most of them were history books on the Shepherd, history of Glenwood and lands in other regions. He recalled reading together with Sorey when they still lived in Elysia.

While the rest of them were books they wrote themselves.

They wrote down their achievements on each ruins they explored, the secret doors they discovered or just the traps that got them. Mikleo smiled at their clumsy handwriting.

He encountered an empty book which they haven't filled in yet. He picked it up and skimmed through the leaves. The edges foxed with time, the scent of the leather cover had disappeared, leaving only old dusty smell.

He closed it and put it in his bag.

When he exited Sorey's house, several birds flocking in front of his house flew away, leaving some feathers lying on the ground. Mikleo remembered it was the same feathers as Sorey's earrings. Mikleo also picked them up.

He left Elysia and gave Sorey one more visit. He sat on his usual spot, pulled out the feathers he brought and crafted the feathers he found before. He hooked it on his belt.

He opened the book and got his pen. He started on the first page.

He wrote about the feathered accessories on his belt, and about how he's ready to start his journey now. He left it short. He knew he'd have a lot more to write later.

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The first ruins he explored alone was not appealing. He didn't get the same excitement as before. He wrote them down on his book about his experience. And only then he realised, because it's the second time he explored a ruins by himself.

The first time was when Sorey denied him to be the Sub Lord and he followed Sorey down to Galahad Ruins.

He had grown to enjoy the ruins exploring with Lailah, the Shepherds, and other Sub Lords. But now he had to learn to enjoy exploring alone.

He travelled on foot to the west crossing the mountains and caves, then rode a small boat across the water passage. It was one long way. But surprisingly, the second half of his travel wasn't dull as he thought it'd be. He grew to enjoy it fast.

He noted down each of those vista points, thinking about when he'd bring Sorey next time.

It took him weeks to reach the nearest town. This town was located under the mountain. It's a small one; the houses were build using woods and ropes. And the residents were a few, but they all could see and hear seraphim well. They lived alongside the humans.

Just like how Sorey and he wished for.

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After there was no empty pages left in his journal, Mikleo bought a new book in the current town he resided in and continued his journey.

And by no time, his belongings were too heavy with the books so he decided to travel back to Elysia.

One and half a century had passed since he left, that made two and half a century since Sorey slept. Many ways to cross the ocean had been discovered, it was different from the times before Sorey's slumber. Mikleo returned to Glenwood on ship.

He traced his way back to Elysia, paying the villagers a visit. They said he looked a lot more mature now. He kept his hair long, and now he's taller.

Funny.

Mikleo used to be always aware of his height, comparing it to Sorey. But without him, he had lost his definition.

When he looked in the mirror, he wasn't aware of his height growth, or the muscles he build on his abdomen and limbs. He didn't know how much he had changed without Sorey pointing it out.

He stored all his books on Sorey's house, keeping it labelled and organised according to order it was written. He made sure to clean Sorey's house and called in for a night there before leaving. He never stepped into his own house.

He missed this house. He used to sleep here instead of his own in the past. He would snuggle Sorey and breathed in his scent.

But now there was only suffocating air. Sorey's scent was absent.

He tried to, but he couldn't remember his scent anymore, except for recalling it a mix between the smell of the sun and grass.

After leaving Elysia, he paid Lailah a visit in Ladylake. She commented the same thing about his appearance. She offered him to be a Sub Lord again, but Mikleo politely declined. Lailah didn't press on.

The topic about Sorey never came up.

He went to the ruins' entrance, undoing the barrier he set up and traced the each path he took to his destination. It was the way to Sorey's location, yet he got lost.

He found his way to the door leading to Sorey. He opened the door, leaving a loud creaking after being left as it was for centuries, he saw the same swaying blue light he had seen centuries before. He had almost forgotten how breathtaking this sight.

He took his spot on the edge of the cliff. Breathing in the same humidity of the earth. Listening to that calm hum of the wind.

He used this time to recall his two centuries and a half.

For seraphim, two centuries and a half happened in a flash. It was the same even for a young seraph like Mikleo. The years without Sorey he thought would be dull and empty turned out to be more fun than he'd imagined. He met new people, new friends, people who shared the same dreams. It was fun, exploring the world like how he always wanted, like his dream.

But once he closed his eyes and reminisced about those exact moments, he realised _two centuries and a half_ really had passed.

It was _not_ short, even when it felt like so.

The moments of his first seventeen years seemed like a distant memory. Sorey's voice still came up as random ringing in his ears. And even his face blurred now. But tint of emerald remained.

He tried to write down every pieces of memory he could recall of his first two decades of his life on his book. It didn't take more than a couple of pages. He should have written them right after Sorey went to sleep.

He put back his book and pen.

He breathed in, breathed out.

He might have been more mature now compared to a century and a half ago when he left Glenwood. The tears didn't fight its way out this time.

Mikleo smiled. Even if everything about Sorey disappeared from his memory. His feelings for Sorey wouldn't.

He took four days to stay there, just sat and watched the light swayed steadily. Sorey seemed to be taking his time, but Mikleo didn't mind. Because Mikleo would still be here no matter how long it took Sorey to return, he's still waiting.

He used those times to imagine.

Imagine the kind of things that would happen when Sorey returned. The places he'd bring him, the books stacked up tall in his house which would take quite some time to read.

Those brings smile to his face. But he still regretted Sorey's face was a blur.

* * *

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* * *

Around the end of the fifth century, Mikleo stumbled upon Lailah and the present Shepherd in the ruins. The Shepherd had similar emerald eyes as Sorey's―as far as he remembered.

Lailah didn't ask this time, but Mikleo offered to be her Sub Lord.

He enjoyed travelling again with people. Having someone to talk to on his long travels, and honestly, Mikleo kind of missed Lailah's puns after all these times.

He grew close to the Shepherd; they had more similar interests than they thought. They had fun, and Mikleo surely enjoyed those times. It didn't take long before they exchanged kisses and sweet words.

Lailah commented on this once, and that was the first time in centuries, he heard someone uttered _his_ name.

One night, Mikleo and the Shepherd stayed awake. They had a long talk with him. They talked about their homeland, about how they didn't see being a Shepherd as a burden and wished for the world to be completely pure of malevolence.

Mikleo cut their words, asked them whether they'd shut off their senses, sleeping for centuries to cleanse the land.

They didn't give him the answer.

Ever since that night, their relationship grew distant. They still travelled together and Mikleo supported them as the Sub Lord. But that was all.

Mikleo realised he's trying to find the _lost_ Sorey in them. The Sorey he couldn't even recall now. He tried to fix the missing pieces in his memories with the new ones. But he should have known it would never fit.

After their journey was over, Mikleo checked his book, and noticed there's two decade's worth of story missing.

He smirked; he'd have to explain this to Sorey later.

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* * *

By the end of the sixth century, his visits to Sorey had accumulated.

But instead of sitting on his favourite spot, he rested his head against the gigantic door. It's just this one door separating them. But why did it feel like the separation was far more than that?

He didn't even know if he's allowed in the other side of the door.

The only thing left of him is his name. He couldn't recall any happy memories they made, their journey, his support, his face, his voice.

 _Sorey was precious to him_ ; it was what was implanted in his mind all these centuries.

And now he couldn't even believe in that sentence anymore. Was Sorey _really_ precious to him? Was it not just a joke he had to say in the past and couldn't forget after all this time because it was an embarrassing game?

The fact still remained that he forgot everything about Sorey.

How do seraphim hold dear precious memories of someone when they lived that long? Their memories were bound to be rewritten, old memories deleted and replaced with new ones. It's impossible to keep them for centuries.

Sorey only lived for his first seventeen years out of six hundred years.

Mikleo didn't have the courage to pass through the door and met with Sorey―whose name was the _only_ thing he remembered.

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When he returned to Glenwood, he met Lailah, and she told him that Sorey's light dimmed out.

He rushed over to the ruins he sealed off, passing his way through every turns and path. He stopped in front of the door, still catching his breath. When was the last time he stepped through this door?

He pushed it open, this time, the light didn't greet him. Only the freezing wind of night.

The light vanished, the steady hum of wind also did.

Then, he visited the closest town and tried his best to contact any seraphim around so they could help gave him words when they'd seen Sorey. But when they asked him who Sorey was, Mikleo stopped and left.

They couldn't possibly recognise someone just by the description of his name and the colour of his eyes―which he couldn't even remember which shade of green.

In the past, he promised, when Sorey returned, and if by any case forgot about him after sleeping for centuries. Mikleo would greet him and introduce himself. He would start everything all over. He would still bring Sorey to the ruins, recommend him the books he liked.

But now, how could he be so sure he could even recognise Sorey? What if he passed by him on the street, but he didn't realise it was him? All that remained in his memory is the name _Sorey_ after all.

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Another half a century passed. His routines were still the same. He still travelled around the world, explored the ruins, filling up his books with all his travels. Sometimes stopping by Glenwood to pay Lailah and Edna a visit. He only encountered Zaveid several times though.

He returned to Elysia to store up some more books. It had not much space left to sit anymore. Even half of the bed is stacked with books. He left the other half free since this was the place he'd sleep when he's in Elysia.

It was not easy to clean now with all these books around. And he didn't want to get all these out first, because then the people in Elysia would see the amount of books he had written for Sorey. He didn't want them to look at him with those sympathetic eyes.

He sat in the centre of the room, scanning the tall books organised neatly in order.

There's still no sign of Sorey.

There was no proof that Sorey would return. Why did he even wait all this time, writing everything on his journey that it stacked up like a tower, ready to bury him in any moment, for someone whose return was not certain.

He picked up the oldest book of all, the only one with foxed edges and yellowing leaves. He had infused a bit of his mana on the all of his books to stop them from growing old with years. But this one had been yellow since first time he picked it up.

He read the first page.

He wrote something about crafting feathered accessories and putting it on his belt. He glanced to it and saw how worn out it had became. He brought his fingers to brush over it.

He forgot.

He forgot the reason he had these feathers was because it resembled Sorey's earrings. No wonder even when it was so old and worn out, the thought of throwing it away never occurred even once.

He continued reading.

The Mikleo from centuries ago was in pain and agony. But in the next page, and one after that, and ones following; Mikleo only talked about the sights he'd show Sorey one day. He moved forward and believed wholeheartedly that Sorey would return.

The first time he cried was when he couldn't recall Sorey's voice anymore.

And now the second time was when he recalled how precious Sorey was to him.

He bawled. His chest throbbed. He missed him.

He could feel all the emotions poured in each word he offered to Sorey.

He might have forgotten about Sorey's face, voice, or their memories together. He forgot about how precious Sorey was to him. But, wasn't the fact that he tried so hard all this time to recall every pieces of Sorey, became the exact prove of how precious Sorey was?

The memories might be lost, but he struggled to get them back.

If Sorey meant nothing to him, then shouldn't Mikleo stop writing all his adventures for him? Shouldn't he give up on the missing pieces?

After finishing the first book, he picked the second book, then the third one, the next one, and next, one by one following the order it was written. He lay on the cramped space on floor, sometimes shifting to lean on the books or using them as arm rest.

He didn't stop until he finished everything.

It took him almost seven months. When he finished, he spent the following days sleeping.

All these books, all those words, was enough show how precious the person it was dedicated to. Mikleo was glad he decided to start writing these books, because its purpose might not only for Sorey to catch up with everything. But also for Mikleo to remember the things needed to keep him going.

He still couldn't remember anything about Sorey.

But at least, he now remembered his name _and_ the feelings he had for Sorey.

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* * *

His exploration on the ruins didn't end. He recalled the words he said on the first few pages of his book. He enjoyed his journey alone, even without Sorey. Because he knew he'd explore these places with him next time.

He stepped in the wide hall and admired the dazzling lights seeping through the ceiling. His steps echoed in the room, but it didn't stop Mikleo from reaching the pedestal in the middle of the hall.

He examined the blue stone on the pedestal, and the ground unexpectedly collapsed.

Just when he thought he'd have to search for the long way back up again, a hand extended to grab his hand. His heart still beat fast thanks to the fall. He hated it when he for traps. He had to thank whoever saved him from falling.

He slowly turned to the blinding light above the ground.

That shade of green.

Tanned skin.

Sculpted face.

Full lips.

Silvery hair―ah, this one was different though.

He couldn't help but gave his most genuine smile and took his hand.

At that moment, the missing pieces in his memory found its way back.

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 _ **End.**_

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 _a/n1: when I started this one, I was planning on writing something about Mikleo being all positive about his life and waits for Sorey patiently. but as this goes on, I'm the one in the verge of breaking down because dAMN CENTURIES ARE SO LONG HOW DO YOU EVEN SURVIVE, MIKLEO. in the end, I wanted to convey that Mikleo's long wait is not only as long as the credit roll, but hundred. thousands. of days. and nights. without Sorey._

 _a/2: this was very enjoyable to write! I enjoyed exploring Mikleo's feelings here. I may also write about the after epilogue in Sorey's pov... or not. I know you can find tons of epilogue-based fanfictions but let's admit they're so enjoyable hahah._

 _a/n3: thanks for reading this!_


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